4 things I learned in 2018.

It’s the middle of January - and I’ve been putting off writing this post.

When I jotted down the title ‘4 things I learned in 2018’ - I’d assumed it’d be easy to sum up 365 days into a short, snappy article.

I’ve discovered, though, that I’m literally incapable of writing a short, snappy pointless blog post. What’s the point? You don’t want to read it, and I don’t want to write it.

So, here’s my ACTUAL lessons from 2018 - my most ‘successful’ year to date. LOL. Enjoy.


1. You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

The world is filled with so many things to try, to achieve, to aim for and as women - we’re expected to be doing it all - being a mum, a Mary Berry kind of baker, a cleaner, makeup artist, hairstylist, pro driver (hello parallel parking…), a shoulder to cry on, a diplomat and a badass. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Not only that - but we’re expected to be good at all of it.

I’ve discovered that the same applies to business - I’ve been juggling admin (which I suck at), accounting (lol, barely), web design, photography, retouching, graphic design, social media, networking, marketing & blogging - and that’s just off the top of my head.

But, instead of taking that list and allowing it to make me feel completely incapable of 90% of what it takes to run a business / BE A HUMAN - 2018 saw me expanding my team.

Why spend time doing things you suck at? Right?

In 2018, I chose the 2 things, out of that list of 1,721 things, that I’m actually good at - and I ran full force at them. As for the other stuff? I found people who are passionate about, AND freaking good at those things.

It feels weird, and it’s totally new for me - but I now spend more time doing things I love and excel at and I’m the most productive I’ve ever been.

Take the pressure off yourself - life is short. Where you have the choice, make space to do what you were literally made to do.


2. I THINK TOO MUCH.

If you hadn’t figured it out already - I’m a thinker - with the kind of mind that initiates those unhinged conversations about the mysteries of the universe casually over dinner.

‘Oh my gosh, but what if we all had carrots for arms?’

Yeah.

That. 😂

And while that can be a lot of fun, this year has taught me a lot about where that same mind can take me on a bad day.

I’ve always lived my life based on impulse, making decisions based on how it felt in the instant. Put simply, I behaved like a giant toddler and for the most part - it had worked out pretty well for me - but the problem arose when I was faced with life’s difficult feelings and thoughts in 2018.

I’d allowed myself to use my feelings as a compass to determine my decisions - yet what I discovered was that my feelings are completely and irrevocably U N R E L I A B L E. They change. They’re childish. They’re confusing.

By nature, I’m an optimist - but when I allowed my mind to take the reigns - it was astounding how quickly my optimism turned to hopelessness.

And here’s the thing, it feels good to indulge in a self-absorbed unhappiness sometimes, right? #toddler

But, I don’t like where it led me. I don’t like who I became when I allowed those things to become ‘the truth’ in my head. I didn’t like being ‘not me’.

However strong my distaste for ‘discipline’, in 2019, I’m working on a strong mind - disciplining my thoughts - learning which feelings to give permission, and which to throw away immediately.

2018 in so many ways made me feel weak, but 2019 was the year I got strong (just saying it like its already happened. K thanks.)


3. SUCCESS DOESN’T SATISFY.

I mean it. It’s so freaking easy to get caught up in the trappings of life - our work, our wardrobe, the car we drive - or the general STUFF that we fill our days up doing.

But if there’s one thing that 2018 taught me, it’s that life is hopelessly empty when it ceases to be about people.

When the scales tip, and the meaningless everyday stuff becomes the reason you get up in the morning - you lose your sense of purpose. And when you lose your sense of purpose - EVERYTHING feels pointless. There’s a deep dissatisfaction that can’t be shifted by another purchase, or a promotion, or a pretty hair do.

While people can be annoying, and life is much less complicated without them - our entire existence is about each other.

Feeling a little unfulfilled?

Stop filling the void with another THING and start making your life about someone else but you. You’ll be amazed what it can do.


4. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ALONE.

I simply would NOT have made it through 2018 without Jesus.

Yep, you heard it right. I’m a Christian.

Now, before you stop reading - can I ask you something?

Why is it that we are all SO willing to believe in anything and everything apart from God? You’d be amazed by just how many conversations I’ve had with people that literally place their hope in the universe, in yoga retreats, healing womb massages, fortune tellers & tarot cards.

So, stop making it weird.

Whether you believe it, or not - God is paying attention. In every heartbreak, in every success - he’s with you. Contrary to what you may have heard, God is not up in the sky a million miles away waiting for you to get your act together. He just loves you, before you were even born. Before you did anything.

At my most alone, I was never alone.

At my absolute worst, I was still loved right down to my ugly bones.

That sort of love? It changes your life.


Jessica Withey1 Comment